An Alternative to Wife-Swapping- Double Dating For Adults
#doubledate
OK, so you like your kids. They're not so bad once you get used to them. Maybe once in a while when you've misplaced the back-scratcher, you're able to con the seven-year-old into doing the job for you. Your five-year-old sometimes remembers to feed the dog, and watching re-runs of iCarly lets you relive the outrageously libertine childhood you never had.




Remember when you were 18 and drove your 14-year-old girlfriend across state lines to West Virginia for a little alone time? Well saddle up, partner- it's time to unplug the GPS and head south. Or North. Or whatever direction your inner-Rasputin instructs. Leaving your comfort zone behind alleviates the annoying requests- 'You've been here before. Is the poached armadillo any good?'

The world is a tasty morsel just waiting to be plopped on your plate, and it's rumored there are places that serves delicacies only read about in National Geographic. Steamed lobster. Asparagus with hollandais. Corn fritters- any given town harbors at least one secret eating establishment destined to put your gastric fortitude to the test. Cruise the off-downtown streets for signs not written in English where empty tables can be seen through the windows. This, my friend, is where you want to eat, and you'll be boring the crap out of people for years to come with your stories of nan bread and tabouli that tastes like goat feed.

Seriously. I strongly suggest you don't act like a camel's scrotum. This is a great mixed-doubles activity if done right, and alienating the others in your party isn't recommended.
#4- Tag, You're Defacing Private Property
For this one, everyone should dress to match in gray hoodies and black skinny jeans. Who cares if you bought them at Old Navy? Then, hit your local paint store (always buy local as the big box stores are the devil incarnate), or raid your father's garage for a variety of colorful spray paints. Once properly outfitted, find a blank wall where your angst-ridden, collaborative conscious to the world can be expressed. Enjoy a quiet game of 'Narc on the neighbors,' or, 'My **** is bigger than yours.' The winner is decided by who the cops nab last

I know, it sounds pretty tame, but you need to look at the big picture. Where should it go? Is there room enough to play hide the salami? Can you leverage the deed to shore up the mortgage on you house? Are the windows well spaced to allow bottle rockets to be aimed properly?
#6- Roleplay
Skip the knights and damsels in distress, and head straight over to the realm of bootleg street vending. Start by copying your favorite CDs and DVDs, then each person can pick a corner downtown to set up shop. At the end of an hour, whoever made the most money without being arrested wins!
#7- Don't Drink and Drive
This little piece of logic goes along with #3, as you don't want to be a schmuck. However, calling a cab at the end of a debacle isn't what true winners do- instead, find a car with a large back seat or two (preferably not belonging to someone you know) where everyone can spoon-up to sleep it off. The idea of aiming for a strangers car is precisely that- your aim is off, and you will throw up on the interior at 4 in the morning before figuring out how to open the door. You wouldn't want to have to explain that to a friend, would you?
Take some time to plan a fun night out with friends sometime soon- you deserve it.
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